When dreams turn real!

I gazed at her in incomprehension as I tried t recall our last encounter. Now that it has come to such a point that staying apart for even some time is so difficult, whenever I see her I always feel like asking – will you stay like this – forever? I am in a situation where getting an answer to these questions is also a luxury that I could not afford. And yet human soul cannot be restricted by the practicalities of a regular life.

Fragments of thought keep crowding my head and it is then that I need to pull myself away from the profound dominance of the fantasy land. Ours was not a relationship that could afford sudden unplanned expressions of love. The expressions got lost or buried by the obligations whatever they were. It’s one life and everyone is allowed a couple of mistakes, if they are mistakes at all. Who can predict the future, or for that matter why is that important? When we keep brooding over the past and get worried about the future, why do we not enjoy the present so that when we move to the future it is this piece of the present world that stays with us as good memories.

Weekend in a Train !

I am one of those people who likes going places but hates almost all the forms of travel available. Not that I don't like travelling in business class, got that chance once but the whole travel experience I find like having your teeth pulled out through your nose. Gosh that's a horrible way to put it. Rail I know is utterly charming, watching the green go by, rocking very gently, if you are in the higher category of the AC coupes. The fun starts when watching the landscape the fork misses your mouth and stab you in the cheek. However even this euphoria of travel lasts only for few hours after which the green landscape gets very boring. Its not very often that you get a charming company, such that you don't even realise when time flies by and it gives a feeling the journey ended so soon. Considering that one is travelling alone the worst part what I find is the train always seem to go either just too fast to not see anything or so slow that you are thumping your head in sheer frustration.

How does this sound - spending an entire weekend on a train!! Yeah I know those qualitative adjectives that are almost common in all our yo dictionary. It would be a very crude sense of sarcasm to say that the start was not that bad. At the station saw few people carrying some 10-15 coffins. Realized that those are for the bodies of people who died in a horrible train accident just the day before. Kind of gives an eerie feeling to board the train after that. Long old principle - "don't think much". It really helps. The journey starts and few hours into it, starts raining. Makes the view outside all the more pleasant, but for how long! Boring boring and I am sliding slowly under the blanket. Very soon I am into a deep slumber. Going by indian mythology, SRI RAM has appeared in different form or incarnation over ages for the benefit of humanity. I woke up to the scream of a chaye wala. When I am at home every morning I wake up to the screaming of my dad.


Its already 8 pm. Life is such a balancing act. Last night I was enjoying one of the most charming company I"ve ever had in recent past as far as I remember and engrossed deep into conversation about life. Now here I am feeling so lonely, travelling alone in a crampy side upper birth of an AC 2 tier. At least I have blackberry for company. I really wonder if anyone has posted a blog while travelling in a train through a blackberry. But honestly I am liking it. The meal arrives. Rice n chicken curry. For some reason I like the food they serve at the indian railways. It has all the earthly flavors that is incomparable. Not that I am hungry but I still want to have it right away. Signing off.

Waiting at the airport !!!

This is one hell of a wait! Guess everybody goes through this once in a lifetime. In my case the worst part is - it’s some airport of a very small city where you cannot spend your time appreciating the beauty of the airhostess or the ground staff. Gossshhh…..They only handle 9 flights in a day….The airport is deserted..Some people roaming about speaking in their native language - and it’s hard to figure out what the discussion is all about - not that I am interested. So what do I do - open my lappy praying in mind that the data card would work in this ghostly place!! And it does...some orkutting…Then Facebook....bad real bad...people don't even scrap this days…..a poke here and there...checked the 'Fate' and 'Luck' quotient - who creates these applications...Christ’s sake a luck factor of 97%....screw you whoever made this application with whatever logic !

Now add to my fate...an announcement thru the PA system...AC would be off for maintenance...wow I feel like checking my luck once again...should be 99% now.....a welcome break.....I can hear the sound of stilettos on a marble floor....yep....one good looking lady...there she comes....quite a decent sense of dressing I must say!!! Her skirt a tad shot for her height.....and that’s appreciable...for my current state of mind.....her lip-gloss kind of reminds me of Poison Ivy !!!...

Girls...girls..they are so predictable...they can while away their time so easily...one call to some bastard on the other side...who must be so glad at receiving her call....I am already bored....I guess I am a dedicated husband loyal to my wife...huh...thatz why I don't find these interesting for long enough ! Don’t smirk...!!!

Scanning around for something more interesting....an interesting banner - "NIRMAL BANG" and the punch line says - 'A relationship beyond broking'...Below that its written - "SMS BANG to 54646"
Gosh that brings horrible thoughts...a company that has a BANG in it and which is into broking.....food for thought for all perverted minds...not me ....I quickly shifted to something else.....in any case I always believed in the fact that in films the director is the god...while writing a blog GOD is the director !!!!

A refreshing change to my current state. The PA system speaks up and it comes to my rescue. All passengers can move up to a lounge where the AC is working....Good for me….Although need to climb three storey’s to that lounge...not that I am afraid of height..I am only afraid of width!! Climbing climbing...I wonder what kind of an airport is this...Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before...however in this case I am really skeptical..Whether the decision was right!!!

Ok….Now I can't even keep my laptop open..A lounge that does not have a power supply point..I mean it does have..But not those international ones...and my battery ain't working...I guess it’s time to log off...kinda pissed off anyway!!!!

Tears of the Sun !

A peg..two three or more doesn't drive me any more..
I still wait for the sun to set...
Coz I know a new sun will rise...
And my day would come...

A night when the moon would be wise..
Be it a day be it a night...
what i have gained...what i have lost...a lot to analyse..
as long as there is hope..there is light...
My battle with life...is still on
Will I win????? I might ,....I might !!!!

My Birthday Cake

03/02/2010

karthik calling karthik!!!

If not anything else...just to testify the name the movie should be pretty engaging.
What else...karthik calling karthik - engaged tone !!!

Right....Wrong....There can be multiple Karthik's on this earth, or for that sake the Karthik in question can have two cell phones. Why the hell on earth would he call himself up from one cell to the other? You never know. This world is full of weirdoes and the one in question might be one of those checking out the quality of the service provider offering the telephone connection.

What am I doing with all this! Nothing...just trying to stay awake after a sumptuous lunch on a Tuesday afternoon at office (subsidised huh!! :P)

Let’s play a guessing game on what this movie can be about. Is this a movie or an advertisement? Well it can be a good promotion. How about it putting it this way - A service provider puts an ad - We have a karthik calling karthik every minute across the globe. How does that help? Well it goes to show that there are so many Karthik's on the customer list of the service provider. If that is true, just imagine the customer base that this company might have, considering there are two Karthik's on the line every minute.

Let’s see if we can come up with any new ideas other than this.

Keep postong...Keep blogging!!!

"Mile Sure - (New one)"

The very focal point of the argument, did we ask for a change? Were we not happy with the one we had? Why are we being driven by the Microsoft philosophy? With all my due regards and respect to Bill Gates and his awesome organization, that stems out a new version of the Windows every two years, even when there is no need of the same, we find we have quite a few followers of the same principle. Neither do they take learning from the year on year debacle nor do we. Hopefully after Vista, they'll take a break. Now coming back to our motherland, the new "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" promotion which I guess most of us have seen by the time now. Is this portraying a national theme or is it portraying the power of Bollywood of being the largest film industry in the world. Is the country all about film stars and cricketers and thankfully some musicians? Does the Lok Seva Sansar Parishad still exist and even it does why is it turning a blind eye? With much pain I could list down all the participants in the new version only to realise that it would have been better to just write down - "Bollywood and some".

Here goes the list - Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, A R Rahman, Sonu Nigam, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan, Prasenjit Chatterjee, Baichung Bhutia, Shahrukh Khan, Mahesh Babu, Deepika Padukone, Ranbir Kapoor, Shahid Kapoor, Shaan, Bhupen Hazarika, Kavita Krishnamoorthy, Dr. L. Subramaniam, Anoushka Shankar, Mammootty, Shivkumar Sharma, Rahul Sharma (musician), Gurdas Mann, Juhi Chawla, Zakir Hussain (musician), Thetakudi Harihara Vinayakram, Vikram, Surya, Abhinav Bindra, Sudarshan Patnaik, Shilpa Shetty, Vijender Singh, Sushil Kumar, Karan Johar, K. J. Yesudas, Shiamak Davar, Shobana Chandrakumar, Shreya Ghosal, Rohit Bal, Priyanka Chopra, Louis Banks, Rituparna Sen Gupta, Amjad Ali Khan, Amaan Ali Khan, Ayaan Ali Khan and Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy.
It is hard to find name that is not a Bollywood parasite or at least one which is not followed by one. Where is Sachin Tendulkar?? Are we not the most cricket fanatic nation of the world? Where is Ratan Tata? The man who had single handedly put India on the global map. The man who made the car affordable to ordinary middle class. All that is forgotten so quickly. What about APJ Abdul Kalam?

We keep saying India's face is changing in the global arena, but the news mostly is a Shahrukh Khan getting an award in some neighbouring country or Amitabh Bacchan inaugurating a film festival that would showcase first his family and then the upcoming movie releases. With due regards again to Mr Bachchan - one of the greatest actors of my lifetime, now he has a brand ambassador within the family.

Its time we understand that the REMIX is not for everybody and its time we understand that if we do not have the capability of producing something original, we cannot bull**** the public just by packaging an old wine in a new box. We still prefer the old wine as it is because - "iye jo public haye, iye sab jaanti haye"

Roomie !

There are times...good times we spend, which we realize only long after. This thinking in retrospect and then brooding over had I done that ...and had I not is something I have been dealing with for quite sometime.


During my brief stint at Uncle Sam's country, I had this roomie. He was a mad Bong. Quasi-American or at least that’s how he liked to put it. The term madness is pretty relative. It starts from absolute craziness and tends towards absolute indifference and it largely depends on the extent of madness that you have handled before. This roomie of mine with a heart of gold was somewhere perfectly balanced in the middle of craziness and indifference. If ever in life you have seen a freaky computer geek for whom the whole world was around Data structures, algo's, AI's, DNA structures then this guy was actually a lot different. Now that you are confused how Data Structure can go along with DNA, I must state that I am more than undereducated to explain that. He seemed to have figured out a way to interpret the DNA structures with Data Structures or something like that. At time people say Ignorance is Bliss. What I figured out was Ignorance was by choice. Anyway I could not make out the head and tail out of the lectures that he used to give, not that I was really trying, but I always appreciated his effort. You had to, when you see someone sleeping 4 hours a day by choice just to dedicate himself to such R&D. More so when for someone like me who could not fathom class, inheritance of OOP in 2 years, and seeing someone using it like ping pong balls, a sense of respect is bound to generate automatically.


By the time I had left the country, this guy had credited to himself a book that helped thousand people solve thousand problems that was published by a well known publisher. My claim to fame- well a few pictures I had taken on my digicam for the book, and some countless lunches and dinners I had cooked for him during this time. Its not that I didn't enjoy my stay with him. He was really funny with a decent sense of humor and nice to hang around with. We used to travel a lot together and good part was, these are the times probably a miniscule of his entire life that he spent not thinking about all those #####.


Having said all that I was amazed at this guy's capability of trusting people right from the word go. It was just that we did hit off well from the very acquaintance stage and now we are really good friends. Had it not been like that i would have never really got to know this person, who is one of his kind altogether. Never ever he realized that going into a good restaurant and asking the waiter to deliver whatever was best was actually asking him to come and rob him off. I still remember those waiters taking the onus of selecting delicacies that never tasted like they were supposed to when ordered and trust me they were like dipped in French Wine, then prepared in heaven and transported to earth for his royal highness to savor.


People who belong to the generation prior to ours have a strange notion of solving every problem with marriage. It doesn’t always work, but at times it does. For thus guy it was a miracle of sorts. We still have chat over phone; most of it is spent in discussing what he had for lunch and dinner, prepared by his loving wife. Considering the kind of involvement he had with books and technical journals when people around him spent most of the time appreciating the beauty of the opposite sex, this is a change that must have taken a herculean effort. I truly appreciate his wife and I believe she is any day a better manager than most of us have at office. Having stayed with him and seen everything first hand, I must say this lady can give the IVY League grads a run for their money.

I have grown UP !!!

Approximately 25 years of disillusionment is all i can claim them. A realization that has come in good time.

Initially it was all about hogging the limelight, getting whatever I wanted (the best of chocolates available in the market. I still remember those). But life does not treat you good for long. Thus came the era of the schools and all the pandemonium along with it. It was like Hell Broke loose. Back then the world was a newer place and the mind had the space and intention of absorbing all the new things. It was soon that the traits of a demon in the making started coming out. Alas, my teenage prayers weren't answered and it eroded my initial faith in God who was called on for life-death situations a 13 year old faced - annual results, recitations on annual day in school. Fared poorly in Math’s, don't remember in which standard, but still remember the spanking from my dad. Took a bold initiative of reciting a poem on Annual Day in school. Got stuck at the first para itself. Attempt 2 - got stuck at the second last para again. So near yet so far. Final attempt - just recited the first and the last para and fled from the stage. Got appreciations anyway for my never say die attitude and the unconquerable fervor that I had. It was so unlikely of me that now it seems I was doped by someone. I even remember that I had also prayed and fervently hoped that POET whoever wrote that piece, would drown in the lake beside my school. I still remember my inability to walk up or down stairs. I always skipped a step, running up or down the stairs. I don’t recall any particular moment in the past from where to source this anomaly from. Then came the years where every beat of the song sent blood pumping through my system. I felt strange, it was like living my dream, life was like crazed out, it was absolutely mad and crazy, every thing is broken up in trances, and every thing is psychedelic, blue lights...purple lights. Thereafter a phase that was dominated and well spent to be honest just by the admiration of the opposite sex. Still remember those discussion forums on the intricacies of the human body and the strange way it behaved when subjected to some external stimuli. Learnt the difference between voluntary and involuntary actions. But now I have grown up. How do I know that???? I do not drink tea in the morning with my pinky raised anymore. My pants don't become too tight at the crotch, and the invisible pulsating forces throbbing underneath that threatened the seams have now calmed down. I am no more enraged as a wild beast can be enraged. My fingernails are not overgrown, as I bite them off before they see the light of the day (thanks to my 9-9 job!!!). My brain is incapable of accessing higher functions as it has been forced day in and day out to perform a ordinary task ordinarily.

Human Being of the 2nd kind !

Human Beings to my belief are of 3 kinds. Unmarried Male, Married Male, and Female. I propose that scientifically they should be distinguished as Homo Sapiens and Home (read that as homay.. sounds scientific) Sapiens. The 3rd type doesn't need any distinction though it might be said and felt, is the most dominating of the three. The 2nd variety of the species I believe has over the ages evolved into a highly adaptive, receptive, predictive and preemptive kind. The interesting part is that, the second part is a metamorphosed version of the first kind, however defying every law science it does not have any traits or characteristics of its parent. A DNA analysis on this matter is yet to be performed and that I believe needs to be performed by the first type (for all who are already confused...first type refers to unmarried male).

Let’s now delve into how this metamorphosis takes place.

•The most drastic change is in the eating habits. Brunch in the weekends is now a forgotten concept, as one is already half way through the day at the time of brunch. Wholesome food becomes a part the diet, which in turn results in a change in measurement in the lower abdominal area. Wine replaces beer as the drink of choice. Home cooked food should be a reason for delight.

•Refreshing the wardrobe which was previously undertaken on a as needed basis now becomes a bi-weekly ritual. There is a conscious effort to make it quality compliant, given a chance it might be grilled through the PCMM standards. Even documenting it is important, as there is a monthly exit test on the stats of the process.

•The cozy bed which was earlier used also as a book rack, a computer table, a CD holder, a walk in closet is now only a butt resting place.

•Quiet dinners at home with guests are in, Night Outs with friends at the local pubs and discos are a POC. A Statement earlier is only a Suggestion now.

•The Kitchen all of a sudden becomes cramped with, plates distinguished separately for guests and self, knives designated for different items, glasses designated for different drinks (I wish it was for liquor), detergents designated for utensils and washing hands, toasters, juicers, grinders, grillers, mixies, tea coasters, coffee makers and the list is endless.

•Add to this one is supposed to keep a track of new household grocery store coming up in locality, the cheapest grocery store in town, furniture outlets giving discounts, different brands of female cosmetic products, gold rate in the jewelry market, the most happening holiday destination and some more.

Coming back to the important point where we started of. The formation and existence of this second type of species has long been ignored and whether this metamorphosed version is beneficial for the human race is still a topic of discussion and debate. On the contrary one should keep in mind that the birth of this second kind stemmed from the requirement of a happy and peaceful living of the third kind.